Sunday, June 27, 2010

End-of the week thoughts

I realize it's Sunday so most people's weeks have already ended, but Sunday's always the day I assess how I'm doing. It's hard to day-by-day since I don't do a constant amount of activity each day, so weekly is easier. I spend most of the weekend resting in or out of bed (mostly in) so I judge how rested I feel before the work week starts again each Sunday. Verdict? Well, I usually don't feel completely rested (ie returned to baseline) even at the end of Sunday, but today it's only about 12:30 pm and I feel like I'm at baseline! Hurray. And I feel like the type of rest I need is less intensive than before. Usually I need to rest 6-7 hrs average a day (lying in bed, not moving a muscle) throughout the week, and most of the weekend in bed and I'm super anxious about making sure I do that. Now, I feel less anxious and can spend 15% of that time laying down, but maybe surfing the internet on my laptop and not feeling like I'm taking away from resting. So, yay, progress!

Another thing. Nuvigil. I realize I've been writing up a lot on drugs lately. But this time, it's something my doc from the CFS specialty clinic wants me to take. My appointment with him was about a month ago and I still haven't tried the sample he gave me. I just don't know how I feel about it! Well, that's a lie. I know how I feel. I really don't want to take it. He said it'll help with day-to-day activities plus somehow help me heal. Which I should have followed up on that and asked him how it helps to heal, but somehow missed it in the moment. But from reading about it, it seems like it's just a stimulant, plain and simple, with plenty of side effects (which I'm so sensitive to!). And that doesn't really fly with me. I want something that will help me get my baseline up, but not artificially. Plus I feel like it'll take a whole lot more self-control to not do more with that extra bit of energy, when I probably still shouldn't be doing more since it's fake energy and I'll probably crash just as hard. But on the flip side of that...he hasn't led me wrong yet in the almost 7 months I've been seeing him and I really need to trust somebody at some point. So, don't know. It's been a month of self-torture on this issue and I really should stop and just try it I think. But ooooh, how I don't want to! Drugs scare me.


Dominique said...

I can totally relate to your aversion for drugs. I have now lived with CFIDS/FMS for over 20 years and I don't take any drugs anymore. I treat my illnesses with herbal remedies after years of suffering from the many, many side affects I got from drugs.

I also agree with you on the fake energy. I was taking an herbal supplement to increase my energy levels, which it did, but the crashes were unbelievable. It's one thing to crash when you are at 50%, it's another to crash when your are 90%! After two or three bad crashes I said no. I'd rather know what my energy is and manage that. In addition, it was really hard for me to 'slow' down when I felt so up. How do you 'pace' when you have a fire roaring inside!? LOL!

You sound like you are wisely thinking through all the pro's and con's and that is all any of us can do.

I'm glad I stumbled upon your blog. I have added a link to it on my blog.

BTW - I love the monkey! Too cute!

DolceVita said...

Dominique - Oh, the fake energy is so tricky. I have barely enough self control to not use the energy I DON'T have, how the heck would I control myself when I suddenly have new energy that I shouldn't be using anyway? :) Anyway, thanks for stopping by! I've added your blog to my reader as well; looking forward to reading it!

Dawn said...

I did try Nuvigil and don't want to scare you but I suffered horrible side effects (including the rash that only happens 1% of the time). I'm also EXTREMELY med sensitive and have to be wary of side effects. Having said that, it could help you so don't let my experience make or break your decision.

I also, don't understand the fake energy concept. So far, I have not been able to tolerate any stimulants and don't intend to try anymore. My concern has always been - won't I overdo it with my "fake" energy and then pay worse later? However, for some people it seems to work great.

I'm glad you were able to get to your baseline so quickly on Sunday - that's GREAT improvement. Try not to overdo it this week though..........