Monday, July 5, 2010

One Year Anniversary

My boyfriend and I met for the first time a year ago, as of yesterday. I felt like it was worth noting since we starting dating a little over a year  after I got sick. The whole situation kind of boggles my mind. We see each other 2-3 times a week and usually it involves him bringing me dinner and doing something really mellow like watching TV or a movie, since I'm pretty useless/spent after work.

I guess he's a pretty mellow guy, otherwise he probably wouldn't have put up with this from the beginning. But he would still like to go out and do things. So I really can't figure out why in the heck he's still with me. I mean, I can rationally sort of understand it because on paper (aside from the CFS!) we match up really well. But really until a few weeks ago (and still sort of now), I've lived with this perpetual fear that he would suddenly come to his senses and realize what a waste of time this has all been (and more importantly that there are plenty of healthy, capable people out there to choose from). It's quite exhausting!

Anyway, I didn't mean for this to get so droopy! My intention was to say this: I am so very lucky to have someone in my life like him. Among all the other things I like about him, he looks out for me and thinks ahead to accommodate my condition, he reads up on CFS once and a while for new research/info. He puts up with quite a lot. Not that many people would! But I guess it's an investment on both our parts. I invest energy I really don't have to spare in hopes of it one day paying off (when I'm all better?!) and I guess he's doing the same. So, hopefully things will only keep improving!

5 comments:

Judy said...

I liked the descriptive word you used: gimpy. How appropo! It is nice to find another CFIDS blogger. And it sounds to me like you know exactly how much to say and how much not to say in your personal relationship about your dd. In the end, it doesn't matter what afflictions we suffer from when it comes to finding and keeping love.

Lee Lee said...

If he does read up on CFS once in a while then he probably knows more than you think he does. Maybe he is not sure how much you know about it. Perhaps you are both avoiding the issue and it would be better all round just to have 'that' conversation?? Eek, it's certainly a tricky situation .....

Jo said...

I'm with Lee Lee. The bloke loves you, it's obvious. You love him, it's obvious. So time to talk openly about things. If you are not being honest for fear of losing him, then when he does see your illness (if he hasn't already) he will feel deceived. Be brave - you can do it!

DolceVita said...

For some reason not all comments are showing up for me (althoough i published them!)...errrr.

But anyway, thanks so much to everyone for your support! I know I need to do it, I just don't have the stones for it :) But I think I'm closer now than I've ever been, so thanks for the helpful nudges!

Dawn said...

I have to also agree with Lee Lee. First, it's wonderful that he has read up on CFS (he gets a point in my book for that immediately). But this also means that he does more than likely realize the potential for you to remain sick for sometime and he is accepting that and accomodating that.

Try to enjoy your time with someone who seems quite kind and realize that you DO deserve it.